Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Holiday Contest: Checking off the list


Here's my entry into Susanna Hill's Holiday Contest. The contest is to write a children's holiday story with any version of "Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.



Checking off the list
By Stacy S. Jensen

Dashing through the store
In a shopping cart.
Through the aisles we roar
Searching for one thing more.
I don’t know where Mom will dart.
The aisles are packed with shoppers
My eyes stop on a huge display of Whoppers.

Chorus:
Oh, shopping lists
Shopping lists
Keep us on track.
Mom won’t turn back,
Unless there’s a fight.
Then, she’ll return another night.

Mom ignores my plea for candy.
She says it’s too late for a treat.
I yell, “Oh no,” as we roll into neighbor Randy.
He doesn’t see us, as he’s sending out a tweet
About two parents fighting over a truck,
With lights and bells. I duck.

Chorus:
Oh, shopping lists
Shopping lists
Keep us on track.
Mom won’t turn back,
Unless there’s a fight.
Then, she’ll return another night.

We crash into a colorful pillow display.
I fly through the air from the cart.
Mom falls on her back with into a sleigh.
Another Mom remarks, “Well that wasn’t smart.”
Mom scrambles to where I landed.
In the middle of the fight, I’m now stranded.

Chorus:
Oh, shopping lists
Shopping lists
Keep us on track.
Mom won’t turn back,
Unless there’s a fight.
Then, she’ll return another night.

Much to Mom’s shock.
I stole the truck from the fighting pair’s grip.
I hope they will take stock
Of their exploits during this trip.
No item on a shopping list merited a fight.
Surely the adults know this isn’t right.

Chorus:
Oh, shopping lists
Shopping lists
Keep us on track.
Mom won’t turn back,
Unless there’s a fight.
Then, she’ll return another night.

Mom chases me out the door,
As I whizz by a man in red suit,
Her list falls to the floor.
By this point, the missing item is moot.
“Don’t worry,” the man said. “I can grab this treat.
And drop it from my sleigh when I’m on your street.”

Merry Christmas!

My inspiration for this:


 My own poor shopping cart moments. This pix is a little fuzzy, but I hope you get the idea. 

I know my meter is off in this entry, but wanted to try. Thanks for reading my attempt. 

Also, I'm over at Writing from the Peak — Pikes Peak Writers Blog talking about What Happens the Morning After a Writing Challenge? I talk about PiBoIdMo and 12 x12. 

Now, that' I've posted mine, Enzo and I can read all the other entries.

25 comments:

  1. I love the photo of the "Serious Shopper"! And I have to wonder if it was the real inspiration, or do something 'go down' in a past experience! Ha, ha! It was quite funny!

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  2. Love your inspiration for this and the the POV! Very funny, Stacey!

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  3. Yes, I love the inspiration for your poem. It is so cute and funny.

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  4. Stacy, I laughed the whole time. So true. I would have a panic attack if I lost my list.

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  5. I loved how the child is practically scolding the fighting adults. Very clever twist!

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  6. Congrats on a really cute entry, Stacy...especially with your hubby not well. I love the underlying lesson the kid teaches us. And I love the photo of Enzo in the cart.:)
    You were missed at the meeting on Sunday...and I think, perhaps we won't be meeting tomorrow, unless it is just me and Jeanine.
    I'll go and read your guest post tomorrow. :)

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  7. Fantastic inspiration photo, Stacy! :) and how perfectly you have captured holiday shopping form a toddlers POV! I love that the child is the voice of reason to the adults, and that Santa's ready to take care of the missing item! Very funny, original and entertaining - thank you for joining in the holiday contest fun!!! :)

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  8. Sitting on a box of goldfish while reading. :) How cute is that? Wonderful job on the song/poem!

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  9. Oh the magical LIST! I save my "master" list from years past to compare what my little ones wanted 3,4 even 5 years ago. Amazing how it changes (and gets more expensive)!

    Great job - Merry Christmas!

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  10. Love it! I want to hear that song now. :)

    Happy holidays, Stacy!

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  11. I'm so glad you entered and shared this with us! It's precious! I love Enzo's photo. And I"m so glad you took yourself up to the idea and inspiration for this post.

    Merry Christmas, Stacy! :)

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  12. Love it (and the inspiration photo)! Can you see my grinning?
    Happy Holidays. :)

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  13. I can totally relate. I can't tell you how much fun it is shopping with twin toddlers. Enzo looks very happy reading his book in the cart. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

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  14. Whew! Hope my shopping trip doesn't go like that. Lots of fun, Stacy! Cute picture. Costco, right?

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  15. I can understand how Enzo was the inspiration to a delightful poem. He's adorable. I loved that you added a chorus. :-)

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  16. Lists? People use lists? So glad the guy in the red suit was willing to make up the missed item -- and that the child was the one arbitrating between the adults. (LOVE the photo of Enzo!)

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  17. That os a really fun entry, so relevant! And gorgeous pic of Enzo. It's wonderful how much he loves reading.

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  18. :) Enjoyed this, Stacy -- and identified with it!

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  19. That is the cutest picture ever. Seriously, send that to the goldfish people. Great marketing right there :)

    Have a great Christmas!

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  20. Loved the writing, loved the picture! It puts me in the Christmas spirit!

    ~Debbie

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  21. Ha! I love it! So clever. I'm pretty sure I've had a similar shopping trip this season.

    Merry Christmas, Stacy!

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  22. Hi, Stacy! I enjoyed your entry. Enzo looks so cute! Merry Christmas to you and your family!

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  23. Really cute, Stacy! Loved the "crashing into the pillow display" part!!!

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